Week 5 is one of my favourite weeks to look back on. After a rough set of guests we were hoping for people with a better attitude towards mine and Gabs capabilities. After all, it is both frowned upon and inadvisable to stick a broom up your arse just to get jobs done on time.
When the guests arrived, both our hearts sank. There were repeat customers. Dun dun duuuuuun. I, in particular, shit myself.
But we needn’t have worried. Throughout the season, repeat guests have actually been the best and totally appreciate the hard work you put into running the chalet. Especially when they find out it’s your first time.
Little did we know that week 5’s guests would probably provide us (okay… me) with THE MOST entertainment of the season to date. I’m not sure if it was Sunday Funday or Monday that the guests found Trivial Pursuit: Family Edition but I’m bloody glad they did as it has become the feature game of my season. Fuck table football (but only because I’m rubbish at it).
Tuesday was a day I will never forget.
I sleepily made my way down the stairs to set up breakfast and clean up from the night before when I started encountering random items of clothing…
When I got to the ground floor there was a trail of clothes from the front door with a 5 euro note right at the end, as if to say, “sorry for the inconvenience of picking up my socks.”
Of course, I went about collecting the garments and folding them neatly on the sofa. One by one the guests came down and discussed who it might have been that thought it was totally normal to get naked on his way up to bed.
We later discovered that this was not all this guy got up to. As a guest staying on the second floor (we can only assume) he got totally confused in his half undressed state and let himself in to the room directly underneath his own on the first floor. He obviously found two very bewildered girls from a different group of guests.
And we now tell people to lock their doors at night.
That Tuesday, everyone received a lot of chocolate and a lot of apologies.
And I just cant let him live it down… (sorry, not sorry!)
Come Wednesday I felt brave enough to tag along with the Inhouse Chalet Stripper’s group to Soldeu for a few drinks. Stupidly, I thought it would be a grand idea to walk there, on my own… in the snow. Uphill. I was too impatient to wait for a bus.
Two buses passed me in the 35 minutes it took for me to trek up there. I think I might have cried a little.
But the whole night ended surprisingly well. They got me very drunk and I distinctly remember stealing a coat… so someone got very cold on the walk home.
I’m pretty sure there was some boarding thrown in that week somewhere… but the first few weeks kinda blur into one because I spent so long trying to master staying upright on the nursery slope and eating risotto on a mountain restaurant balcony.
Ski/Boarding accident of the week? One very unfortunate guest managed to kick himself in the face with his ski and had to be rescued from the mountain in a basket. He had a very attractive cut across the bridge of his nose. Thanks for the lolz… but I do hope it’s cleared up nicely.
On Friday we joined the Neilson reps on their Friday Night Fatties trip. Again, I got smashed. I promised I’d be home in about 10 minutes and then turned up a few hours later. I then vowed I wanted to stay up and chat forever… and fell asleep seconds after.
And apparently I snored. A lot.
The next day I cooked 23 Full English breakfasts at 8AM. I only dropped eleven eggs. Then I crawled, slothenly, back into bed. Because I just couldn’t even handle it.
On Saturday night, the majority of our guests went out for drinks and dinner in Soldeu. Which meant we were cooking for and serving a total of about seven people. It was lovely to sit down and eat a meal at a normal time and it was the best way to spend the last night with some amazing guests.
I wish I had photographic evidence of most of these things, however I lost my phone on the mountain before I could get them uploaded anywhere. I’m most upset that I no longer have a video of Noddy Grandad dancing to Mumford and Sons, just in case I ever needed it for blackmail or leverage of any sort.
I think week 6 had the worst start to a week ever. Mostly because I was quite sad to see the guys we had going home… and I really didn’t want to be making cakes at 4AM. My twitter has informed me that I was actually asking to be shot in the face late that Sunday night.
But week 6 didn’t turn out to be as bad as I thought it might… I cracked snowboarding (sorta), I started a ridiculously snail paced love affair with a ski shop guy and I learned to live without an IPhone.