In my last post (and a lot of tweets) I mentioned that Mike and I managed to hide in an all inclusive hotel for our first few nights in Spain. We reaped the benefits of free food, a free bed and unlimited access to the tour train. This plan went without any hitches but I feel this was thanks to my amazing family, who did an excellent job of keeping us incognito. For your information, I’m not really cut out for this sort of thing, but I needed the quality time with my Mum and Dad.
How to get in
Mike and I lugged our backbreakers from the train station to the hotel but before entering, we gave Guy and Abi the bags. The main entrance, like in most hotels, lead straight to reception. Although these people would be seeing our faces for the rest of the week, we thought it was best that for the first time they saw us, we didn’t look like new arrivals.
How to get your all inclusive band
If you have family or friends staying in the hotel the trick is for one person to not have their band done too tightly on their arrival. That band will come straight off and you can claim a new one. Usually there’s a charge for lost or broken bands, but that charge is significantly less than paying for a hotel room. Free or no, you now have an extra all inclusive band.
Failing that, find a broken one that someone has thrown on the floor. When the bar staff ask to see your band, grab it out of your pocket and tell them you don’t like tan lines. Most of the time, the staff really don’t care if you have a band or not. If you’re there with a party of six they won’t risk the upset and consequent complaints on Trip Advisor in the case that you are a real guest.
How to leave
Have confidence. In this, I failed. Upon our departure (which was actually later than my parents) we had a plan to go for breakfast and leave without anyone noticing. However the guy at the desk spotted our luggage and asked if we were checking out and instead of saying, “Not yet, we would like to go back and double check the room,” or, “No, we would like to get breakfast first,” I said, “Urm, yes. I left the key in the room. Urm. Bye.” And ran.
I ushered Mike out of the door and promised him breakfast in Barcelona.
The stay was wonderful and just what we needed. Churches and architecture was becoming (dare I say it?) boring and although we had a great time in the Balkans I was happy to be eating something other than sausages.
While we were here we enjoyed various meals out. I tried my first paella and I thought it was marvelous and we were pleasantly surprised by the quality of kebabs in Spain.
In fact, the kebabs were so good that Mike and I took the family out to a beach restaurant called the Maui Beach Club for deconstructed kebabs, on a plate. The food was incredible and for six of us to eat, with drinks (including a bottle of wine) and desserts it came to the small total of 118 euros. We ate our dinner overlooking the beach as the sun went down, it was beautiful and the perfect way to say goodbye again.
I only have one more thing to add this post about my short, stolen holiday on the Costa Brava and that is that I was trampy enough to take someone’s abandoned Converse shoes AND I swapped my shit backbreaker for my Mum’s wheelie cabin bag. It’s the best decision I ever made.
Yes, YOU HEARD ME! I don’t have a backpack anymore. Fuck backpacks. All hail the wheelie bag.