So, I’ve been living in Spalding Common for about 7 months now and as much as I hated it at first, and I thought it was sucking the life and soul out of me, I have come to appreciate what it has to offer. This is how to be a tourist in your own hometown TO THE EXTREME.
This is why the long stretch of road that my house is on, is so awesome.
Almost instant main road access to every important place you will ever need to get to
That’s right. No stupid windy country lanes. No horses. No pigs, or sheep and very rarely any tractors. This is the perfect road to live on in Lincolnshire. Almost instant access to a REAL road. At the other end? GET THIS. A mass of junctions, that takes you… to town… to town… to town… or to another main road. I think I need a lie down.
It has a river
Though technically considered a drain, could be moulded into a lovely river scene to walk your old, hairy, smelly dog down in peace. Or just take pictures… whatever floats your boat. Any road with a river instantly wins points.
It has a quaint little bridge
A bridge to get over the river! Whoever designed this road was a genius. Ultimate pretty points for the bridge.
A sense of community
Sureee, these guys don’t mind throwing eggs at your car, or leaving their kids screaming outside at 7am, or playing music so loud in the wee hours that your window pane shakes but ultimately we have a sense of security. We know that when we have loud family arguments the police won’t be called to break up the anti-social behaviour, because they might find the crystal meth lab next door.
Fields of gold mouldy green
We have fields as far as the eye can see. Not a rice paddy, but a good old scabby field. With nothing in it. But worms. Glorious.
An abandoned church/school/scary building
Who needs to explain this?
An old people’s home
You could literally live and die on this road… a happy person.
A short stumble to the Draymans. A comatose piggyback home. What else are locals for?
A convenience store
Hahaha, YES! Another convenience store. Just what I always needed. Does sell wine 2 for £6 though. Pretty handy.
For all of your petrol needs! And for when the convenience store is closed. This garage is 24 hours. AND it has cut price days. The god of all garages resides on my road.
A fish and chip shop
That is not always open… just to keep you on your toes. If this isn’t enough…
A mobile fish and chip shop
That drives to your house… and cooks you fiish and chips AT YOUR DOOR on certain days of the week.
Lots of bus stops
No less than 3 bus stops for you to choose from when you need to get to town.
A train track
For train spotters and photography enthusiasts.
AND FINALLY… the Pièce de résistance
A martial arts studio
Yeh, that’s right. A martial arts studio, to teach you kick ass moves when you’re not busy visiting all the other exciting things on this road.